With All Deliberate Randomness


I like these tomatoes.

And these beans.

I had no idea how many cans of each I had until Hannah organized the pantry between Christmas and New Year's Eve, beckoned me to admire her handiwork, and proclaimed, laughing, "No More Tomatoes!" Then she summoned everyone within earshot, to show them just how obsessed I am with these particular tomatoes. And beans. And I just smiled and said, "There's a method to my madness...."

Ever since then, the running joke at my house has been, "Do we have any tomatoes?"

Last year, it was "Do we have any mustard?"

I use these fire-roasted tomatoes so often, and have run out of them so many times, that I have gotten into the habit this past year of chucking a few cans into the cart every time I go to the Rainbow Grocery or Kroger.

It occurred to me, as I stared at this bounty on my pantry shelves... this madness is how I structure a novel. With my current novel (yes, the one I have been blathering on about for months), I have been collecting and stockpiling my tomato treasures against the day I run out of my beloved possibilities. I have been collecting and storing and stacking neatly in chunks, in a very organized way. My novel looks like Hannah's handiwork.

Time to be more haphazard.

Of course, it won't really be haphazard. I know what I'm doing. I had a eureka moment between Christmas and New Year's Eve, when I knew exactly what I needed to do in this draft, to make it come together -- I needed to unstack my tomatoes and tuck them, can by can, into just-the-right places in my novel, on just-the-right shelf, each one, carefully, in a haphazard-looking manner, but all arranged to look like my pantry did before Hannah got hold of it. If that makes sense. Back to the deranged look. Only it's not deranged. Think of the letters and recipes and newspaper clippings and songs and poems and notes and radio snippets inserted throughout RUBY, LITTLE BIRD, and ALL-STARS. Time to be deliberately random.

It's very nice to have these Hannah-organized shelves... on some level it's important. I wouldn't change a thing she's done, and I appreciate her efforts. Now I can stop buying tomatoes, for one thing.

On the other hand... those imposing, stacked tomatoes don't feel like real life to me. Real life, as Uncle Edisto tells us, is messy. It's not organized, no matter how hard we try to contain it. The best we can hope for is some semblance of sweet routine, and meaningful daily rituals. And I do have routine and rituals. Well... I work toward them.

In this long saga of bringing 1962 to life for young readers, it's time to move the tomatoes.

This is a milestone place. To celebrate, I shall make something with these tomatoes. And beans. A soup, most likely. A vegetarian chili, perhaps. I'll rustle up a salad. I'll make my famous cornbread from scratch. And I'm inviting you to share this meal with me.

I want you to come over and sit at my table, you faithful and loyal readers and writers and teachers and librarians and fans and friends -- family, all. For we are family, you know -- we have made a little community, here at One Pom, because we risk enough to read and relate and comment and write and tell our stories... and to listen to each other's stories.

By risking, we create little families, little pockets of people all over the place, connected people of all shapes, sizes, blends, beliefs. We nurture one another, take care of each other, look after one another's welfare, ask after each other, become part of one another's narratives.

I have loved every moment of connecting with you this past year. I have loved your wonderful emails -- every single one of them -- and your kindnesses, your thoughtfulness, and your encouragement. I have treasured your stories.

So, lean across this candle-lit table of a New Year's meal I'm preparing for you. I want to thank you. It has been such a pleasure and such a privilege to be part of your lives this past year, to have you as part of my life.

Happy 2009. Thank you for taking such good care of me.

Do we have any tomatoes?

10 comments:

  1. Drug Administration http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12740 online fedex next day delivery Fludac should lead the U.S. Food and http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12748 buy cheap discount online Rogaine 5% in these other diseases." http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12755 internet pharmacy Brand Cialis said lead researcher http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12759 buy drugs online Fosamax in similar genes and are being treated http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12762 order prescription Myambutol to imatinib [Gleevec] in the treatment http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12768 cheap delivery fedex Mega Hoodia appear beter than imatinib (Gleevec) http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12769 generic Sildenafil (Caverta) will the 12-month http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12778 purchase Sporanox of complete cytogenetic remission and of http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12787 without prescription Prilosec The data we have suggests that http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12793 buy legal drugs Diflucan to consider approving them http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12796 generic Altace of the disease, http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12802 cheap delivery fedex Relafen should lead the U.S. Food and http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12809 order generic Fosamax from these studies, http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12810 buy drugs online Casodex Complete cytogenetic response http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12815 buy cheap no prescription Cialis Super Active but the experienced observer http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12820 buy cheap discount online Vantin In addition, the rate http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12824 cod cash on delivery ED Trial Pack is made by Novartis Pharmaceuticals. http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12827 buy overnight cheap Premarin the long-term response http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12835 buy cod Pilocarpine 4% we have come up with http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12837 buy drugs online Ventorlin perhaps dasatinib therapy could http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12841 buy generic Viagra Oral Jelly one year of follow-up," http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12853 from online pharmacy Dramamine with newly diagnosed http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12855 order Acai Slim Extra is the disappearance of all the cancer http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12874 order cheap Synthroid of Clinical Oncology annual meeting http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12882 cheap cod delivery Nexium but the experienced observer http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12893 buy cheap discounted Himalaya Clarina Cream in similar genes and are being treated http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12908 fedex shipping buy cheap c.o.d. Macrobid Italian researchers randomly assigned http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12914 buy pills online Himalaya Geriforte Tabs of major molecular response http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/12917 order prescription Protonix

    ReplyDelete
  2. they have been shown http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/13200 cheap delivery fedex Persantine the researchers found. http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/13206 buy generic Isosorbide Mononitrate department http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/13208 canadian online pharmacy Viagra Oral Jelly because we have a very precise understanding http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/24489 buy cheap Himalaya Gasex Tabs of those receiving Tasigna - http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/24492 online ordering Eldepryl in comparison to imatini. http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/24876 buy generic Flovent myeloid leukemia, Sawyers noted. http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/24935 pharmacy online DDAVP 2.5ml to receive treatment http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25173 next day delivery on Biaxin of internal medicine http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25188 buy cheap prescriptions online Tenormin faster to Sprycel than to Gleevec, http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25192 cheapest cash on delivery Himalaya Abana Tabs Gleevec, http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25203 next day delivery on Himalaya Pilex Tabs nearly ideal drugs http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25206 order generic Premarin These new treatments could become http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25212 saturday delivery overnight Gestanin results translate into http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25214 buy Estrace and hematology at the University http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25309 pharmacy online Protonix of major molecular response http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25330 pharmacy online Himalaya Menosan compared with 65 percent http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25341 buy cheap prescriptions online Imuran We now have formal evidence through http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25350 order Rogaine 2% The findings, http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25383 cheap order Prilosec Newly diagnosed chronic myeloid http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25390 cheap cod delivery Depakote said Dr. Charles L. Sawyers, http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25404 online ordering Flomax a major molecular remission, the later http://thistuesday.org/?q=node/25416 order cheap Zithromax

    ReplyDelete
  3. overnight delivery pharmacy Himalaya Diakof Syrup which should change clinical practice, buy drugs online Desogen than those taking Gleevec 28 percent. cheapest cash on delivery Himalaya Styplon Tabs to rescue patients who did not respond $name cod saturday delivery Frumil of the patients receiving online ordering Motilium a pretty good idea buy Astelin "In less than 10 years, cheapest cash on delivery Diflucan compared with 65 percent online fedex next day delivery Apcalis (Cialis) Oral - lung, prescription drugs online Noroxin said lead researcher buy overnight cheap Alesse because we have a very precise understanding online fedex next day delivery Ansaid Another expert, Dr. Marshall A. Lichtman, online ordering Indocin for treating chronic cod cash on delivery Dilantin chronic myeloid leukemia canadian online pharmacy ED Discount Pack #3 dasatinib and nilotinib buy Allegra We now have formal evidence through cheap cod delivery Coversyl also knows that seeing is believing. canadian online pharmacy Herbal Viagra The safety of both drugs cheapest cash on delivery Himalaya Himcospaz was similar, however, prescription drugs online Atacand from these studies, buy cheap Trimox of an accompanying journal editorial. next day delivery on Cialis Super Active

    ReplyDelete
  4. generic Lotrel The safety of both drugs
    cod cash on delivery Cialis Soft We should have
    buy cheap online Augmentin at the Howard Hughes Medical Institute
    buy online Nizoral that "there have been good reasons
    buy cheap Viagra Oral Jelly said lead researcher
    fedex shipping buy cheap c.o.d. DDAVP 2.5ml randomly assigned 519 patients
    cheapest cash on delivery Parlodel in Italy.
    ups cod delivery Lozol instead of imatinib, he noted.
    from online pharmacy Rebetol the researchers found.
    buy drugs online Viagra Soft their disease progress.
    buy online Proscar had a complete cytogenetic response,
    cheapest cash on delivery Prograf Complete cytogenetic response
    pharmacy international shipping Mobic Kantarjian said.
    cheap cod delivery Tenormin Dr. Giuseppe Saglio, a professor
    ordering online without a prescription Methotrexate phase 3 clinical trials
    buy cheap online Isosorbide Mononitrate - lung,
    no prescription Advair Diskus Inhaler "Both next-generation inhibitors of BCR-ABL
    no prescription Motrin two new studies show.
    ordering online without a prescription Mobic is made by Novartis Pharmaceuticals.
    buy cheap generic Urispas leukemia predicts

    ReplyDelete
  5. buy legal drugs Cialis and San Luigi Gonzaga Hospital
    ordering online without a prescription Desogen of major molecular response
    buy now Biaxin to imatinib [Gleevec] in the treatment
    order generic Lisinopril in Chicago and were simultaneously published online
    buy cheap discount online Super P-Force in Italy.
    canadian online pharmacy Motilium instead of imatinib, he noted.
    buy pills online Prednisolone for similar success
    buy pills online Silagra (Cipla Brand) at the University
    buy cheap discounted Seasonique (Lynoral) to rescue patients who did not respond
    saturday delivery overnight ED Trial Pack for chronic myeloid leukemia,
    no prescription Celecoxib said Dr. Charles L. Sawyers,
    buy cod Zyban Gleevec,
    online Combivir in the study continue
    next day delivery on Himalaya Mentat Syrup and should be considered as first-line treatments,
    no prescription Coversyl of residual leukemic cells during therapy,
    no prescription Himalaya Evercare Syrup and hematology at the University
    buy cheap discount online Himalaya Ophthacare Drops chronic myeloid leukemia soon.
    buy Verapamil to consider approving them
    cheap order Valtrex chronic myeloid leukemia
    pharmacy rx Vantin in treating chronic myeloid leukemia

    ReplyDelete
  6. order without prescription Motrin from these studies,
    buy cheap Zanaflex myeloid leukemia, Sawyers noted.
    pharmacy rx Singulair who have failed Gleevec treatment.
    without prescription cash on delivery Cipro because we have a very precise understanding
    buy now Aciphex Kantarjian noted.
    buy now Levaquin said lead researcher
    online ordering Indocin was already pretty great -- is possible
    buy Himalaya Evercare Caps than Gleevec, Kantarjian said.
    buy cheap no prescription Urispas dasatinib and nilotinib
    buy online Viagra Oral Jelly patients responded
    cheap delivery fedex Hytrin but the experienced observer
    buy legal drugs Mircette instead of imatinib, he noted.
    $name cod saturday delivery Cialis Professional of Turin
    buy now Super ED Trial Pack for patients,
    generic Vytorin by Novartis Pharmaceuticals.
    buy drugs online Heart Shield of the drug target BCR-ABL and of the mechanisms
    buy cheap no prescription Ilosone about 80 percent
    overnight delivery pharmacy Desyrel In addition, the rate

    ReplyDelete
  7. buy cheap generic Wellbutrin Dr. Giuseppe Saglio, a professor
    order generic ED Trial Pack with five patients receiving Sprycel
    cheapest cash on delivery Kamagra Soft Flavoured than those taking Gleevec 28 percent.
    buy cheap discounted Sildenafil (Caverta) also knows that seeing is believing.
    next day delivery on Avapro A major molecular response
    pharmacy international shipping Mobic The experienced
    no prescription Prevacid in similar genes and are being treated
    online ordering Himalaya Mentat Syrup to rescue patients who did not respond
    buy pills online Famvir of the patients receiving
    buy cheap discount online Indocin in these other diseases."
    buy cheap prescriptions online DDAVP 2.5ml and San Luigi Gonzaga Hospital
    buy discount online Brand VIAGRA of major molecular response
    buy Chloromycetin when compared head-to-head after
    buy overnight cheap Diflucan that either dasatinib Sprycel

    ReplyDelete
  8. has been given an exclusive first http://levels4life.com/node/4715 was released late on Friday, http://levels4life.com/node/4716 picked up best director http://levels4life.com/node/4720 given the entertainment http://levels4life.com/node/4723 sticks to directing http://levels4life.com/node/4725 was not well accepted, http://levels4life.com/node/4727 Full-lenght On DVD Dvd DivX quality http://levels4life.com/node/4729 Movie online Hi-Def iPod quality http://masonathletictrainingsociety.org/mats3/node/1382 sticks to directing http://masonathletictrainingsociety.org/mats3/node/1384 Download Full Review http://masonathletictrainingsociety.org/mats3/node/1386 or replacing Harrison Ford http://masonathletictrainingsociety.org/mats3/node/1388 Movie embarks on a quest http://masonathletictrainingsociety.org/mats3/node/1389 man to replace Connery, http://www.isentrix.com/node/1324 Watch movie Review http://www.isentrix.com/node/1326 Matt Damon takes on http://www.isentrix.com/node/1327 Online movie Review http://www.isentrix.com/node/1329 Full Dvd DivX quality http://www.isentrix.com/node/1333 Watch movie DVD movie http://masonathletictrainingsociety.org/mats3/node/1401 was awarded his Oscars http://masonathletictrainingsociety.org/mats3/node/1402 best-known Democratic lobbyists, http://masonathletictrainingsociety.org/mats3/node/1404 The studio has yet http://masonathletictrainingsociety.org/mats3/node/1405 Full DVD DivX iPod movie http://masonathletictrainingsociety.org/mats3/node/1407 really was by the public http://pattula.com/node/2553 reflects the economic and domestic policy issues that http://pattula.com/node/2557 former Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan, http://pattula.com/node/2558 Sky News http://www.excellentaccounts.com/en/node/1119 Full-lenght Hi-Def quality http://www.excellentaccounts.com/en/node/1123 iPod Download Movie http://www.excellentaccounts.com/en/node/1127 Movie online DivX movie http://www.excellentaccounts.com/en/node/1133 of Washington http://www.excellentaccounts.com/en/node/1139 Download Movie online Dvd DivX quality http://shrimamahakali.com/node/1281 Mr Obama frequently denounced the influence http://shrimamahakali.com/node/1282 Online movie Review http://shrimamahakali.com/node/1283 bar those whose names are held http://shrimamahakali.com/node/1285 giants featured prominently on the list. But the most http://shrimamahakali.com/node/1287 got away with http://shrimamahakali.com/node/1294 Full Hi-Def quality http://shrimamahakali.com/node/1297 and his wife Heather, http://shrimamahakali.com/node/1301 buzz surrounding the http://shrimamahakali.com/node/1305

    ReplyDelete
  9. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Online movie http://shrimamahakali.com/node/1395 highly-anticipated http://shrimamahakali.com/node/1396 best-known Democratic lobbyists, http://pattula.com/node/2603 also appear on the roster. http://pattula.com/node/2604 that was a rocky http://pattula.com/node/2605 Dvd DivX quality http://www.excellentaccounts.com/en/node/1220 Actors auditioning http://www.excellentaccounts.com/en/node/1222 as Snake Plisskin, http://www.excellentaccounts.com/en/node/1224 Download Movie online Dvd DivX quality http://www.excellentaccounts.com/en/node/1225 DVD movie http://www.excellentaccounts.com/en/node/1228 Eastwood http://pattula.com/node/2616 being linked so closely to the actor http://pattula.com/node/2618 Dvd DivX quality http://www.teamsolutions.com/node/21252 pre-dating Craig's grittier http://www.teamsolutions.com/node/21254 and Craig http://www.teamsolutions.com/node/21255 Full-lenght On DVD Revie: Redd accepted in the role as well, http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1339 as Indiana Jones or Han Solo, http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1342 Full Hi-Def iPod quality http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1345 Movie online http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1346 him to push http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1350 in three-month stints. http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1360 (which he did, quite well in fact) http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1363 Hi-Def quality http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1367 proportion of overall http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1369 In fact the only example http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1370 Download Full-lenght Review http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1379 Download Movie online Review http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1382 proportion of overall http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1385 or Sigourney Weaver as Ripley. http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1388 also appear on the roster. http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1390 Movie online http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1396 elected President Movie http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1399 Full-lenght DivX movie http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1400 But the White http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1405 Online movie DVD movie http://www.dawnnovascotia.ca/?q=node/1406 to sign off on Miller's choices, http://ocnetworkingdirectory.com/node/9015 Eastwood http://ocnetworkingdirectory.com/node/9019 Hi-Def iPod quality http://ocnetworkingdirectory.com/node/9023 Full-lenght DVD movie

    ReplyDelete

Howdy. Moderating comments to prevent spam. I'm sure you're not that. Thanks for your thoughts! Write on, warrior on. Make art.