2 days, checking in

Hello, luvvies. Thanks ever so much for your mail. I'm here, and I'm reconstructing.

I didn't lose the notes I wrote that contained my research and addressed the copy editor's queries. I had saved those the day(s) before. What I lost, though, was the fine revision (and a couple of places of new writing) that comes when you sink yourself down, down, down into a story so deeply that you feel as if you're One with that infinite mystery that is guiding your heart and your fingers as the words knit themselves together in an order that tells your story so magically it doesn't feel like it's you doing the work.

I know you know what I mean. Who thinks to save a copy off somewhere at a time like that? You're not even here, at a time like that... it's so rare.

I was so close to the end, on page 314 of 344, I was so lost in the story and in that world, and had been for hours. When the little box flashed a "windows needs to update" message I quickly clicked cancel so I could keep going, keep going. At the same time, I read the rest of the message which was "do you want to save your work?" -- so, bleary-eyed and not realizing what I was doing, I cancelled my revision, basically. I did it.

Windows was going to update whether I wanted it to or not. That shouldn't be possible... but it is. Many of you have written to me about how to fix this so it doesn't happen again. Yes, I'm using Vista. No, I'm not going to buy a Mac. Yes, I have backup copies, and yes, I have my computer set to back up every few minutes... but I cancelled my work without realizing what I had done.

It's a sick, sick feeling, isn't it? So many of you wrote to say you've been there. Curiously, that does help. I got some sleep, and I am back at it. I am nothing if not dogged and determined. I have an encouraging note from my editor. I am on page 144. Two hundred pages more, and this time through it is not as daunting, perhaps, as the work I did all yesterday and last night is still fresh in my mind. And maybe, just maybe, if I get lucky, I can touch that magical place again. I can certainly try.

So back I go. Thanks again for all the kind and supportive words. Tomorrow morning is my goal. I still have a few queries to run aground and a final check-through after this revision is done. I can do it. You've told me I can. :>

It has just started raining. I think that's a good sign.