Up Early

Had a nightmare about my dog, Sandy, who was the model for Dismay in EACH LITTLE BIRD THAT SINGS. She died in 2004, shortly after I moved to Atlanta.

In my dream, I was encouraging Sandy to get up, even though I knew she was hurt badly, sick, something... and I was trying to "push" her down the road in my dream, toward some unknown destination we needed to get to, asking her to get up, over and over.

We passed dead dogs by the side of the road, some in the middle of the road, it was something out of a horror film, and finally -- I couldn't believe it -- Sandy did get up. She never looked at me. She staggered to her feet, and began to trudge in front of me, slowly and unsteadily, and I could see how hurt she was, how wounded she was, and I wanted to call to her to stop, to just stop and don't worry about it, stop, it's okay, it's too much... but she kept going, just out of my reach, toward an unknown place, and I kept following her. She was in pain, suffering, and I was walking behind her, unsure of what to do next. And then I woke up.

I wonder if I am dreaming about my novel.

Or (I watched last night's debate), maybe it's the political season I'm dreaming about, or the economy. Or something I ate. Or maybe I just miss my dog. We were talking about her at dinner last night. Still, it is 3:43 am and I am awake. And going to work.