how to live forever

Love, Ruby Lavender is ten years old this month. Ten years ago, this sweet little novel, my first, made its way into the world. This week, three-thousand third graders are coming to Lenoir Rhyne University in Hickory, North Carolina for "The Little Read," to meet the author and hear more about the book they have all read and done projects with and learned from. I saw several hundred of them today. They each clutched their very own copy of Ruby and smiled at me from their seats as I stood on stage and smiled back.

"Ruby Lavender really started here," I told them, "in a little town in Mississippi, at the turn of the century. That's Miss Eula, in the white blouse, standing with her mother and father and little brother." Gasps in the audience!
"And Ruby Lavender started here," I continued. "My Aunt Mitt was the inspiration for Miss Mattie. Here she is, holding her daughter, Helen, who was the inspiration for Dove Ishee. And there's Miss Eula again, standing next to her husband, on the right, a newlywed."
"Here's the pink palace," I told them. I spent many a childhood summer in this house, with Miss Eula. In this photo, she's standing on the sidewalk next to her mother. We all called her mother -- my great-grandmother --  "Nanny." I do believe that's Nanny's husband, Pa, sitting on the front porch. I never knew him, as he died before I was born, but he used to lead the singing school every summer, and he purchased the Stamps-Baxter songbooks for everyone in town, every year. People came to visit with their money and left with a songbook.
"Ruby Lavender began here, too," I told my third graders, "with Miss Eula's children, including a little girl who loved a chicken named Rosebud -- my Aunt Beth -- and a big brother who loved that little girl.
That brother grew up to be a dashing Air Force second lieutenant...

... who, on a blind date, met a beautiful Mississippi girl, a stenographer at Brookley Field in Mobile. They fell madly in love, and life was suddenly lived in color:
Which is when I came along, their first child.
And no matter where we lived (well, other than the three years we were in Hawaii), we found a way to get to Mississippi to visit our grandmother every summer. We visited our grandmother, her mother, the great aunts and uncles, the cousins... we honored them and they loved us, and I became attached to them and to the place of my father's birth.

The stories I heard over and over through the years as I sat on the front porch surrounded by kin became part of my blood, my mythology, my lore. And Ruby Lavender was born from my longing for that place and time. Longing for those people who knew me. Longing for that love, for that wackiness, for that messy glory.
Today so many of my best beloveds are gone. The house is dilapidated and empty. The town is full of ghosts. But the stories remain.

The stories go on, and it is the stories that give us our history, that make us human, that define us. It's the stories, told and lived by those amazing, flawed, daring, loving human beings, that have shaped my life.

How amazing to think that a book I wrote from those stories mixed with my own experience has the potential to touch three-thousand nine-year-olds in a town in North Carolina, all of whom seem to love Miss Eula as much as I did.

And how astonishing to think that I now have those stories to pass on to my new granddaughter, Abbie, whom we welcomed into the world on April first, just before midnight. What stories will she have to tell? What stories about her own grandmother? Grandmothers.

In Love, Ruby Lavender, Miss Eula tells Ruby, over and again, "Life goes on." Yes, it does. 

Welcome to the world, Abigail Grace. Congratulations, Jason and Stephanie. And, likewise, congratulations to the kinfolks: to Miss Eula, Nanny, Pa, Dad, Mom, Aunt Beth, and to all you aunts and uncles and cousins and loved ones who are here, as well as all who are long gone away. Our family grows. You are not forgotten.

Through our stories, you will live forever.

public events: chattanooga, tn and darien, ct

Quickly, two public events where we can meet one another and catch up:

I'm speaking tonight (Monday, March 28) at 6:30 at the downtown branch of the public library in Chattanooga, Tennessee, a town I adore. Details here.

I'll be talking about how personal narrative finds its way into fiction, using my books as a backdrop for so many stories that have defined my life and my work. This is a family program for all ages.  More here.

On Tuesday, I'll be working in Chattanooga schools. Yay!

Then, I'm speaking on March 31 -- this Thursday -- at the Darien Library in Darien, Connecticut, a town I'm about to meet and, I'm sure, adore. Details here. Countdown is Darien's "One Book, One Community" book for 2011!Exciting!  It's the first children's book to be selected for this honor, and I'm so looking forward to meeting the folks in Darien and sharing stories.

Darien has planned a month-long celebration of Countdown at the library, complete with a film screening of Thirteen Days and Dr. Strangelove, as well as Pete Seeger's The Power of Song, which is one of the many references I used in researching the Pete Seeger biography for Countdown. There will be listening parties, a poetry slam, and so much more -- check it out!

I'll be doing a writing workshop with young writers in Darien on March 31 at 4pm, and a family program about Countdown that evening at the library, at 7pm.

If you live near Chattanooga or Darien, I hope you'll come say hey. Heavens to Murgatroyd! as Franny Chapman says in Countdown. Two public events in one week! I'd love to see you.

the wheel turns

It was my luck to have spring and summer babies. If I'd had them in fall and winter, I'd tell you that was my luck, too. It's good luck to have babies, no matter what season, no matter what age. And, this spring, my youngest babe turns 25. Yesterday was her birthday.

So of course we celebrated. Someone wrote her a song... years ago actually, but now it is recorded. And framed. 
I wanted to include family who couldn't be with us on this day. If they'd had the chance, or if they were still living, they would have come to our little house to celebrate. Life is so short, isn't it? 

So I pulled out the Trabuco Canyon honey I bought when we last visited Zach in California. I took the marmalade jar from its special spot -- it belonged to my mother-in-law for so long, and before that to her mother -- and filled it with confectioner's sugar. I put two sticks of butter into the butter dish that had been my grandmother's -- the real Miss Eula -- and imagined my father, as a boy, helping himself to some hand-churned butter from that dish.

I used the Georges Briard cake pedestal that Hannah and I found at our local antique store. I put a carrot cake on it, and frosted it with cream cheese frosting. My mother always wrote on our childhood birthday cakes, but I opted for big numbers for a big birthday, as I no longer have children at home living out their childhoods.

I did, however, buy butter pecan ice cream, which was my mother's favorite. Hannah had no preferences for this birthday meal or cake, which left me free to remember our collective past in calling up this meal and those who now loved or had loved us. I loved doing this. 

You can see a bit of Albert Einstein, a painting by artist and friend Kate Fortin, in the chair behind the cake... not that Albert is a relative, but he's family of choice, I suppose, and certainly Kate is. You also can't see the family photos that grace the bookshelves, but they are there, lending their presence to the preparations.

So I set the table with the china my mother had given me. For flower vases, I used the blue bottles I had scavenged with Jason long ago.
I brought my mother's candy dish into the dining room (this room was my office until recently... more on that soon!). And I reverently put on the sideboard Hannah's other grandmother's little dish that she had given me before she died -- oh, how Juanita would have loved to have seen Hannah turn 25. How she had loved that child!
Our birthday dinner? Waffles and bacon! For many years, we made our big meal of the day in the afternoon on Sundays, and then made waffles and bacon for supper. I have fond memories of Hannah and I measuring and stirring while the bacon popped and we discussed the important events of middle school, while Zena, Warrior Princess whooped it up on television nearby. Ha!

Jason and Stephanie brought fried chicken. We joked about chicken and waffles while we poured the orange juice and took the biscuits out of the oven and started buttering them. Hannah put herself in charge of watching the waffles. Jim scrambled some eggs.

We had little cottage industries going on everywhere in the kitchen. There wasn't a green vegetable in sight... and wasn't that just like a perfect childhood Hannah meal? Why, yes, it was.
Someone's second helping. We won't say whose, but we are proud of the industry!
And then it was time to blow out the candles on the cake.
Meanwhile, someone ELSE flitted from window to window, flirting with the outside cat. Can you believe how much he's grown?
Into the evening, there was talk of birthdays past and birthdays to come. Look carefully and you will see that we are about to welcome another little girl into our family. Abigail Grace will make her appearance any day now, as soon as she says it's time. And look: she is already surrounded by family. Family of choice, family of chance, family from near, family from far, and family from long ago as well. She is already part of history. She is already part of our storytelling.
I love our stories. I love what it means to be family. It's like Uncle Edisto says in Little Bird: "Open your arms to life! Let it strut into your heart, with all it's messy glory!"

Which, to me, means laughing and celebrating, and also struggling and figuring it out, and giving each other lots of space to find our ways, both together and separately. It means coming together, again and again, with a whole lot of history and willingness and forgiveness and grace. Grace. It's a whole lotta grace that keeps us together as well. Grace that leads to peace.
Peace to you and your families this spring. Peace to our family, as Hannah enters her 26th year, as Abbie enters her first, and as each of us, in all our stages of messy glory, finds ways to celebrate who we are. May we always find joy in the continual, changing, amazing discovery of one another.

Shanti, shanti, shanti. Peace, peace, peace.