strumming a chord

Ohmygolly, y'all. I have had such amazing mail in the 24 hours since I last posted... who knew how many of you felt this way, too, and understood that deep desire to live an authentic life, a life not made to someone else's order?

 It's so good to have company, and it's so good to hear your words. Thank you. One friend sent me this column by Cary Tennis in Salon. He says what I was trying to say in a different way, but with just as much conviction.

My favorite lines:

Consider this: The world approaches you like an ugly beggar and begins pawing through your backpack. So you resist. The world wants something. It just doesn't have a very nice way of going about it. It grabs for things you think are sacred. You resist. It grabs for things you think are worthless. You resist. You say, that's worthless, you don't want that. But the world keeps pawing through your backpack.


And:

The world may not want what you think is your greatest talent. So we learn that we are not the best judge of what we have to offer. We learn that if we simply adopt a posture of service, the world will let us know....  Shift your perspective. You're not running the show.

And:

What we express does not originate inside us. What we express we pass on. We borrow. We are conduits. This yearning, this is not from inside you. It is your response to an invitation....  The world is trying to pull something out of you. Let the world pull this thing out of you. Let the world act on you.

 Me again:

What I express does not originate inside me. I am not running the show. I am letting go, remember? I only run the show to the extent that I can say YES to what has opened in front of me, instead of resisting it. YES to seeing where it takes me. YES to loving-kindness and curiosity and open-ness and willingness to make myself available. To find out who I really am.

That's the entire struggle, in my opinion. All of life is a journey home. Home to our true selves, our true nature, our connectedness. We do nothing alone.

What is your invitation? What is the world offering you right now? That is the question.

How wonderful to be able to look the world in the eye and say, "Here I am. Where to?" And then to go at the pace you can travel.

My pace yesterday was... slow. I could have stayed with chapter three, but it was fidgety, finicky, and fussy. Jim texted me from his last break at his Valentine's Day gig at La Grotta: "I'm dead." He had worked three gigs yesterday, playing and singing, and I knew he was done-in. I texted back: "You're almost done. I'm making you something!" And I closed my laptop.

I finished these pans of brownies at 11pm. They were supposed to look like this, but I couldn't face doing the entire pan in that way at 11pm, so this was my concession.  

Jim walked through the door at midnight. The brownies were still warm. Chapter three could wait.

We are conduits. We are not running the show. We suit up and show up. We say yes to the invitation. We learn to be of service. We lean into the sharp points. We embrace our lives. 

It's good to have fellow travelers on the path. Thanks for writing, and for all the kind words. Let's remind one another, when we forget, of what's really important.