In a year of being home and listening to myself, I have just entered month three.

February was for.... lots of things. Some writing, yes. And more staying still, more creating routines. More discovery. It's hard to put into words. I didn't know making the decision to stay home this year was going to bring me feelings this... deep. I don't know when I'll write about writing again. I'm sorry if you've landed here to read something about writing... or the writing process. I don't know what that is right now. Everything seems up for grabs, but well-grounded at the same time, if that makes sense. 
I feel like I'm back in school, educating myself. I can't "make" anything happen. It's all coming along just-so because it's time to come along. This makes no sense whatsoever. So sorry. Just trying to put into words something that's probably more a feeling than some sort of statement.
There's a definite feeling of "breaking through" into something, although I don't know what it is. Ten years on the road is a long time to be away from the known rhythms of home, and the home (and town) I live in now is still new to me, even though I've lived here almost 8 years.

I've enjoyed this house when I've been home, that's for sure. Now I want to *know* it. I've been steeping myself in this being-home thing -- I don't have a choice, really. It's just what's happening now, and I am glad.

I looked up the other day from my perch at the kitchen island, where I'd surrounded myself with cookbooks, and said, "This reminds me so much of my life long years ago, when I had time for everything. There was time for cooking, gardening, friends, family, taking good care of myself, and writing as well... what's that word, Debbie? Balance. There was balance."
Maybe that's what I'm feeling. It's healthy, whatever it is, and I'm trying not to judge how many pages I've written (or not) or how good it is (or not), just like I'm not judging my housekeeping skills.

January was for study and putting beginning systems into place. In February, rhythms began to emerge, and I followed my nose. I listened. I took my time. I slowed down.
March so far seems to be for getting quiet. I'm not sure what will happen with the blog. And you already know how wishy-washy I am about social networking. I've deactivated twitter and facebook. I can't right now. I need all the time I can get for staring at the wall, for listening, for loving up a new grandbaby, for enjoying my peeps here in Atlanta, for home-making, for writing the next book and the next, for just being here. Walking the park. Soaking up home. Grateful for this year off.

I have dropped 25 pounds since Thanksgiving as well. For such a long time I haven't recognized the woman smiling back in all those pictures of me. I surely did morph and change on the road. I forgot who I was. Or maybe I just missed myself too much.

In any case, it is a delight to welcome me back to myself.


  1. I just check in when I need look at your yummy food shots. Everything else is a bonus. relationships are the most important thing & I'm glad you're making time for them. Something delightful is bound to turn up in a character sometime as a result.

  2. I've been meaning to tell you how utterly brilliant I find your chalkboard. Should I ever find myself in another home, it's definitely something on my must-have list.

    I'm so glad you're finding balance. That is the thing I find most challenging, although I've gotten better at it (I think, I hope) over the last few years. I do enjoy your photos.

    I'll leave you with my yoga teacher's final words: "May you be happy, may you be peaceful, may you have ease of being"

  3. First of all, I loved Countdown. It was brilliant. And when my kids are old enough it will be on their reading list.
    Second, I love your blog so much. I only recently found it, but I will continue to read. :)

  4. You've opened your arms to life and it's strutting into your heart - in all its messy glory. Trying to live life on purpose - with purpose - each day. Writing about life is writing about writing.

  5. "I just missed myself too much." I can't tell you the depth at which that sentenced resonated. To the bone, to the well where magic lives.

  6. Hey, y'all. Thank you so much for all these kind and thoughtful words. The messy glory, yes, that's for sure. I do want to dip into that well where magic lives. Maybe I am already there. Much love and peace. xoxoxo Debbie

  7. First, you're my hero because you have a chalkboard wall in your house. Second, Abby is so precious. April is just around the corner. I hope it holds new wonders for you to discover at home.


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